r/clevercomebacks
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u/BelleAriel
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Aug 29 '22
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from one rib to a Mcrib! lol
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u/Hot_Put_8328 Aug 30 '22
My EX-husband used to think it was funny to call me rib.
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u/FlyPenFly
Aug 30 '22
edited Aug 30 '22
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And that rib transgendered into a woman.
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u/unicornlocostacos Aug 30 '22
Rib: “I identify as a woman”
God: “god damnit”
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u/WifeKilledMy1stAcct Aug 30 '22
God: “god damnit”
God: Medammit!
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u/singularity-108 Aug 30 '22
Explain
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u/lucidreamstate Aug 30 '22
Putting aside my core belief that jokes are never funnier when you explain them, I believe that OP was pointing out how IF the christian God actually does have something against humans declaring a gender identity (which there is no evidence for)... Then that same God would probably be pretty angry at all women.
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u/singularity-108 Aug 30 '22
Oh no I didn’t understand what you meant. I thought it was something like mother of God or something but then i read it and understood it’s “Me-damnit”. I had an r/woosh moment.
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u/Rob98000 Aug 30 '22
Fun fact, jesus would be trans due to having no biological father to give him the male sex gene, therefore jesus was born a woman.
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u/Agile_District_8794 Aug 30 '22
I've always thought this. No way she wasn't assigned male at birth. American Dad has a less pronounced jawline.
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u/JazzlikeForce1226 Aug 29 '22
And Mother Nature created hundreds of species that can change genders!
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u/Da_madking Aug 30 '22
Mother nature created hundreds of species that eat their babies
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u/_serenacamille_ Aug 30 '22
So what you’re saying is we should start eating babies? Finally
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u/mmdeerblood Aug 30 '22
I don’t see why we ever stopped? Very tender meat and we consume other baby meat such as lambs and baby cows. Why limit ourselves when there’s species out there having babies that didn’t ask to be born and some don’t even want their babies.
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u/LapisW Aug 30 '22
Actually, every species can eat their babies. And they don't even taste that bad.
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u/Foolyz Aug 30 '22
"Hello, 911? I'm calling to report... whatever the fuck this is."
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u/Pugkin5405 Aug 30 '22
A solution to all the orphaned children
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u/TheToasterIsAMimic Aug 30 '22
Check out Jonathan Swift over here!
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u/TheEyeDontLie Aug 30 '22 edited Aug 30 '22
It's a good idea. Morgues should become butchers shops. Help solve global warming! Eat people meat!
Beef is responsible for a fuckton greenhouse gasses (from cutting down forests, growing and shipping massive fields of corn to feed them, etc). I've seen quotes from carbon scientists saying basically the best thing you can do as an individual to curb climate change is to try eat less meat.
Humans release a fuckton of carbon in their lives too, but their meat just goes to waste, buried or burnt.
For the sake of prion diseases and cultural beliefs, we should leave the spine and skull for traditional funeral practices. Excluding the brain, human meat has no greater risk of disease than any other animal flesh.
The muscles, fat, bones and other organs? Feed the world, local and sustainable, cruelty-free, with a similar (but slightly lower) nutritional content to pork- and a comparable flavor.
The idea is a little gross to our culture. However, humans have been eating humans throughout history and prehistoric times, and not only in times of necessity (though I'd say the climate catastrophy certainly applies). It's purely cultural. In some cultures until very recently (even within my lifetime and possibly still going on) it was a sign of respect both to eat and be eaten, and the greatest insult is to waste a resource like 50kg of meat perfect for the grill or slow cooker.
It's a Abrahamic religion thing that's taken over the culture, and we should cast it aside and think logically about this. If organ doning is ok, why not muscle donating? Your body could provide dozens of students at a school with protein and nutrition they need to study that day and to grow up healthy. Is that not as noble as one stranger taking a skin graft or retina from you?
I know I'll get instinctively downvoted by most of you, but you're just brainwashed. The only logical reason we shouldn't eat humans is the risk of unethical "farming" practices, which I'm sure we can fix with strict laws, 3rd party inspections, transparent supply chain, etc- especially by keeping it local, which helps minimize transport pollution too.
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u/conmacc99 Aug 30 '22
This is the worst attempt I’ve ever seen someone make to sound like they know what their talking about
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u/TheEyeDontLie Aug 31 '22
Which part do you want me to provide sources for?
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u/conmacc99 Sep 07 '22
Fam, ur talkin about eating HUMANS. Nah don’t need sources. And down vote me all u want nerd HAHAHA
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Aug 30 '22
Ew imagine eating your own babies. That’s literally so horrible. Eat other peoples babies.
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u/Budget-Razzmatazz-54 Aug 30 '22
Also created animals that can fly, swim, hibernate, are venomous, poisonous, lay eggs, etc.
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u/OblongAndKneeless Aug 30 '22
And for millennia, languages have more than two genders for their nouns.
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u/hambakmeritru Aug 30 '22
Yeah, I was gonna say, you can easily argue that God created animals like the jellyfish which reproduce asexually, frogs and fish that can switch genders, and snails and worms that are born with both genders.
And that's just the tidbits that I know of as a layperson.
Clearly, God is not restricted to binary anything.
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u/unicornlocostacos Aug 30 '22
Her Twitter picture is the best picture anyone will ever take of her. She doesn’t even look like a donkey at all.
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u/cheebeesubmarine Aug 30 '22
Eve was the first transsexual. She was formed into a woman from male bone marrow.
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u/Towel17846 Aug 30 '22 edited Aug 30 '22
Evolution caused species capable of reproduction. And succesful at it. In the case of sea horses, the female gives eggs to the male. Which fertilizes them and carries them to birth.
Many reptiles like snakes and lizards don’t even need an opposite sex and use parthenogenesis to create offspring.
God did not create anything. Man created god. A comfortable concept to brush off anything on that one might not be willing to come to terms with, or might need to be able to deal with reality because truth is often not soothing for ones mind.
But ribs sound delicious, anyone got BBQ sauce?
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u/eyvoom Aug 30 '22
Seahorses rule!
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u/bambola21 Aug 30 '22 edited Aug 30 '22
What is this, Sea Horse Captain? What is this - Seahorse-Seashell party? Who didn’t invite me? Why didn’t I get invited? Seahorse - Sea HELL. What is this? Get real. I’m in love with sea horses. I’m in love with ‘em. They’re so beautiful and cute - I’m in love with the seahorses. They’re fuckin’ unreal, I love them. They’re like all the clocks - I love them. I love seahorses. And I love lookin’ at ‘em And I love SEA SHELLS. I love sea shell things. I love things with sea shells and seahorses on ‘em. Like blankets, and towels, and little bags. I love ‘em.
Seahorses. FOR-EVA
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u/New-Theory4299 Aug 30 '22
some species change gender midway through their lives, the California Sheephead (a kind of fish) starts life female, then transitions to male when it gets big enough:
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u/AnthropOctopus Aug 30 '22
And there aren't even two sexes in human biology! People just rely on what they learned in 6th grade biology class and think no further.
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u/Marc21256 Aug 30 '22
Even peoe who deny anything other than male/female acknowledge there is an "other" category, They just usually dismiss those as less than human.
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u/YamNo8036 Aug 30 '22
I will disagree that man made God but the existence of God does not depend on what I say or what you think. Anyway, I would love to have some ribs and BBQ sauce right now.
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u/Why_A_Username1 Aug 30 '22
I am dumb. Can someone please explain?
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u/Woosterzmom Aug 30 '22
You're not dumb. All these people believe the bible story about God taking one of Adam's ribs to make Eve. They likely believe that women have an extra set of ribs because of this story. But it's all bollocks. Women and men generally all have 12 sets of ribs.
So it's really not a clever comeback at all.
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u/shrub706 Aug 30 '22
even if the story was true that god still created the opposite sex from that rib it's not like bros rib just fell out and decided to become a woman
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u/alasdair_jm Aug 30 '22
Thank you, my school opted to avoid this explanation of evolution.
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u/Th4tRedditorII Aug 30 '22
It's only clever because it uses their own preconceptions against them...
But fighting them with even their own logic is like trying to punch your way into Fort Knox.
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u/jon-wayne-candy-snow Aug 30 '22 edited Aug 30 '22
RIB = Republican Illiterate Bitch.
Edit= Racist Illiterate Bitch.
Edit = Rough In Bed. Meaning that her vagina feels like sandpaper and her mouth smells like stale cardboard. Ok I’ll ban myself now.
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Aug 30 '22
There’s only one real gender at first and it’s female. In mama’s belly your body decides to become a man while first being a girl. If you think of it: why do females have nippels? Why do men?
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u/FortunePayback Aug 30 '22
But he created a women from said rib.
That being said, the rib came from a man, so to an extent, is Eve not trans-feminine?
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u/Juan286 Aug 30 '22
Well technicaly god did create two sexes, but the woman didn't like the missionary so she left
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u/PigThin- Aug 30 '22
Idk why calling someone a rib cracks me up lol
Edit: I used the joke in class the furrys were not happy with me
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Aug 30 '22
This is one of those divisive, nothingburger issues politicians use to split the country against each other.
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u/Pancrase10 Aug 30 '22
No there are two genders. The allegory is that two genders were united as one and they were separated.
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u/Drathothic Aug 30 '22
That’s not clever that’s not how the Bible works lol
God created man, saw man was lonely, and created woman from man. He created both genders.
There’s a lot of comebacks you could make to that tweet, but this isn’t a clever one.
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u/LordVile95 Aug 30 '22
To be fair god created Lilith before Eve who was the first women, god then banished Lilith and made Eve from Adam’s rib.
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u/Captain_Mike1247 Aug 30 '22
God also said not to bear false witness, so get ready for a warm afterlife you old hag.
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u/Joey_BagaDonuts57 Aug 30 '22
Which God? There's hundreds to choose from ffs!
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u/tw_72 Aug 31 '22
There is somewhere between 4,200 and 10,000 recognized religions in the world. I suspect the "gods" are in the thousands.
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u/ShockMedical6954 Aug 30 '22
good thing I don't care about your god then Margarine Tiffany Gangrene
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u/SuspiciousSubstance9 Aug 30 '22
Lilith, Adam's first wife, was created from the same clay as him. So technically God did create two genders...
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u/AztecWhoCares Aug 30 '22
No but he created the second gender with the rib meaning he did create two genders.
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u/bloodhound83 Aug 30 '22
So every gender claimed right now is also created by God because he created everything?
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u/GodlyGodMcGodGod Aug 30 '22
Are we sure that the rib was used to create Eve? Because there's only one reason that comes to mind when I hear about a man having his ribs removed. Most guys should understand what I'm referring to, but for everyone that doesn't, please refer to this
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u/sasha_baron_of_rohan Aug 30 '22
Calling anti abortion ultra religious females mcribs should be a thing
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u/WeeaboosDogma Aug 30 '22
Bruv the Bible has "be nice to trans people" in it.
Mathew 19:12.
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u/Dyert Aug 29 '22
I think they’re both wrong. Mother Nature created 2 genders.
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u/XNjunEar Aug 30 '22
*3 *sexes. Gender is not the same as sex. Also, there's a biological intersex, look it up.
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u/Some-Economist9894
Aug 30 '22
edited 11d ago
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Ok
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u/AtoZWolf Aug 30 '22
Because people are used to classifying and strictly trying put everything into groups. Kinda makes things easier until the whole lgbtq thing came up and complicated it.
Why when parents going to echo to see what gender their child is, doctors always say only boy or girl?
Because these are terms of the 2 genders/sexes for non-adults that people are born in? It doesn't mean if a person has made major changes to the body they can't state it. But especially nowadays I don't think you will know too many people yourself that have made changes so drastic they can change medical procedures concerning this area.
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u/Niall0h Aug 30 '22
That’s not clever, it’s misogyny. You can’t protect one marginalized group while slapping another. For the record, I think this particular woman is a jackass. Let’s use our brains to defeat her rather than such a blunt and ineffective instrument.
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u/Active_Explanation49 Aug 30 '22
he just told the truth.
and let's not fake the Bible isn't misogynistic.
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u/Niall0h Aug 30 '22
Yeah, the truth about how much this country despises women. No need to bring the Bible into it #falseequivocation 😹
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u/Active_Explanation49 Aug 30 '22
the Bible says a woman must be subordinated to her husband, it's in the genesis after Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit and God gets angry.
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u/Niall0h Aug 30 '22
Do you know what false equivocation means? How about non sequitur?
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u/Active_Explanation49 Aug 30 '22
I know what facts mean, and I'm stating facts.
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u/Niall0h Aug 30 '22
I suppose there is a difference between stating facts and having a discussion 🫶🏻
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u/brett_midler Aug 30 '22
That’s dumb as hell. The story goes he used the rub to make the second gender. Wether you believe in God or not, that’s still two genders.
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u/tavaryn_t Aug 30 '22
It's not meant to be a serious argument, just a clapback.
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u/brett_midler Aug 30 '22
It’s not a good clapback, though. But this sub doesn’t care cuz they think they’re soooo enlightened.
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u/AnthropOctopus Aug 30 '22
It doesn't matter what the Bible says, that book only applies to Christians.
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u/brett_midler Aug 30 '22
You miss my point. If I make a knife, then use part of that knife to make another knife, I’ve made two knives. You don’t need to believe in God to understand that the comeback is wrong.
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u/Iam35stopasking Aug 30 '22
I get your point, and think it is stupid outside of this take. Only Christians care about god's take there.
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u/brett_midler Aug 30 '22
I’m not a Christian and I care
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u/Iam35stopasking Aug 30 '22
You care about god's take? I don't think you know what you are saying.
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u/brett_midler Aug 30 '22
I don’t think you get it. Christianity aside, the comeback does not logically make sense. According to the story, God created two genders, wether you want to believe in him or not has nothing to do with it. Swap God for any engineer. If they make something, and then use a small part of the first thing to make a second thing, they made two things.
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u/SohoXoho Aug 30 '22
the sub is about circle-jerking and narrative, not facts
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u/brett_midler Aug 30 '22
Well that’s obvious. Look at all the people that just can’t handle that I pointed out that the comeback makes no sense.
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u/Longjumping-Gap4670 Aug 30 '22
That “clever comeback” is extremely incorrect, see Genesis 1:27
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u/Sir_Osis_of_Liver Aug 30 '22
Genesis 1:27
Genesis 2:21-23
21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
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u/vanillagorrilla23 Aug 30 '22
It got a chuckle but it's wrong rofl god created two genders in christian theology. The women was formed from the rib of man. It's more fun just laughing at the people who think this was a great burn
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u/Helioxsparrow Aug 30 '22
Wrong again, God made woman from Adams rib, so technically made 2 genders
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u/_Kakashi69 Aug 30 '22
I don't really know how something that isn't true on counts as a "clever comeback" but okay.
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u/Super_Fudge_1821 Aug 30 '22
No, God Created many ribs. The female was made from the top rib, which has all the persons dna. Or I watched a medical religious docu on why the top rib is best to tap for DNA If it were from a lower rib it wouldn't have sufficient DNA. You could also tap for backbone for DNA. .... but the story goes for Man God created Woman. So in summary 2 genders
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u/The1Sundown Aug 30 '22
Oh FFS.
Genesis 1:27
And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
If you're going to pat yourself on the back for what you think is a clever retort, you'd better at least be factually correct.
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u/JimmyJohnny2 Aug 30 '22
idk.
People who start sentences with "wrong." are worse than the most annoying political people I've ever met. It's a grade A asshole move to start a sentence like that and lets everyone know how insufferable you are
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u/weltallic Aug 30 '22
Reddit has actively promoted and encouraged the hate against this women, actively leading to three murder attempts this past fortnight.
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u/RevolutionaryJudge89 Aug 29 '22
That’s pretty funny
Gonna tell my significant rib this when she wakes up