r/funny • u/Most-Strategy4554 • 4d ago
As long as she doesn't make it into a candle, I'm like, whatever.
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u/s_decoy
4d ago
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It feels like everything I hear about Paltrow comes from a random word generator.
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u/Strickens 4d ago
"I asked a bot to write a news article on Gwyneth Paltrow and this is the result-"
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u/Radius_314 4d ago •
A new article by chat gpt:
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Actress and lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow is at it again with another bizarre health tip. The GOOP founder recently revealed that she has been incorporating a new practice into her wellness routine that she claims has changed her life: drinking her own urine.
According to Paltrow, urine therapy, or the practice of drinking one's own urine, has been used for centuries in Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine to promote detoxification and overall health. She claims that it has helped clear up her skin, boost her immune system, and even regulate her menstrual cycle.
While some may find the idea of drinking urine repulsive, Paltrow insists that it is a completely natural and safe practice, as long as the urine is clean and free of any bacteria or toxins. She recommends collecting the first urine of the day in a clean container and drinking it immediately for maximum benefits.
However, health experts are warning against Paltrow's latest health craze, calling it dangerous and unproven. Drinking urine can actually lead to dehydration and an imbalance of electrolytes in the body, as well as exposing the drinker to harmful bacteria and viruses.
"It's important to remember that urine is a waste product and our bodies excrete it for a reason," says Dr. John Smith, a leading medical expert. "There is no scientific evidence to support the idea that drinking urine has any health benefits whatsoever, and in fact, it can be quite harmful."
Despite the backlash, Paltrow remains steadfast in her belief in urine therapy and is even considering launching a line of urine-based supplements and beauty products through GOOP. Only time will tell if this bizarre health trend will catch on with the masses or fade away as just another one of Paltrow's outlandish fads.
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u/wearenottheborg 4d ago
I'm concerned at how plausible this is lmao. Like the only obvious giveaway is the fake doctor name, but this definitely looks more believable than an onion article.
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u/noober1x 4d ago
Um, Dr. John Smith was my actual doctor. Good guy. Didn't like it when I had to give him a urine sample though.
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u/The_Big_Cat 4d ago
How was his bedside manner for the ozone enema?
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u/noober1x 4d ago
It took my breath away.
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u/driving_andflying 4d ago
If it took your breath away, I think you may need to re-read the instructions on which orifice the kit is supposed to be used.
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u/JojenCopyPaste 4d ago
I got chat gpt to write this:
In recent news, actress and wellness entrepreneur Gwyneth Paltrow has sparked controversy once again with her latest health tip that many are calling "weird" and potentially dangerous.
Paltrow, who has previously faced criticism for promoting alternative health practices such as vaginal steaming and using jade eggs for pelvic floor exercises, is now advocating for a new practice that involves ingesting a small amount of hair each day.
According to Paltrow, consuming a small amount of hair can help improve gut health and digestion, and even boost the immune system. She claims that the practice has been used in traditional medicine for centuries, although there is no scientific evidence to support these claims.
Critics have been quick to point out the potential dangers of ingesting hair, including the risk of choking or intestinal blockages. They also argue that Paltrow's promotion of such a practice could lead to people adopting dangerous health practices without proper scientific evidence.
Despite the backlash, Paltrow has defended her stance, stating that she believes in the power of traditional medicine and alternative health practices. She has also pointed to her own personal experience, claiming that the practice has helped her feel more energized and healthy.
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u/dclxvi616 4d ago
She is considering launching a line of urine-based supplements and beauty products…. Omg I’m dying
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u/Poobmania
4d ago
edited 4d ago
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Everything I learn about Gwyneth Paltrow is against my will and I’m tired of being violated
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u/Chucknorris1975 4d ago
Can I offer you a nice Jade egg in this trying time?
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u/suh-dood 4d ago
Not if I have to shove it up my ass
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u/TrepanationBy45 4d ago
You're in luck. That one goes in your urethra!
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u/ManyIdeasNoProgress 4d ago
There's a subreddit for that. Linking it is always a r/sounding success. (oh yeah, nsfw unless your boss is, like, really cool).
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u/seattleque 4d ago
a r/sounding success
Get the hell out of here with your early Saturday morning cleverness.
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u/Jatzy_AME 4d ago
Honestly, the most surprising part of this headline is that Hollywood keeps employing her despite being obviously nuts.
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u/notquitesolid 4d ago
I thought she quit acting. She was only in the marvel movies out of obligation.
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u/Courtaid 4d ago
I thought she did Iron Man because she didn’t have to leave Los Angeles to film.
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u/dapoorv 4d ago
Are you not allowed to board a flight with a candle up your ass?
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u/Jaambie 4d ago
You’re classified as a bomb when your ass is pressurized with ozone.
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u/OhJeezNotThisGuy 4d ago •
Ozone with the concentrations of 60 vol% or more is likely to explode even at 10 Torr.
I can”t believe your comment made me go search how much Ozone she would have to pump in her ass to become explosive, and yet here we are.
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u/Smitty8054 4d ago
Ozone in the air at too high of concentrations can definitely cause eye irritation. My brain is just taking this to the next logical step.
“Gwennie you ok over there? You seem uncomfortable”.
“I think I’m ok but my o-ring feels like it ate a big pile of cotton candy. And by cotton candy I mean fiberglass wool asbestos type violently escaping from my hole under intense pressure”
“I feel so cleansed. When your back door winker bleeds this much and this long you know it’s working”.
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u/grumblyoldman 4d ago
No, Ms Paltrow, we said you are "a bomb," not "the bomb"
Yes, being "a bomb" is a bad thing, even when you're rich.
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u/OldWhoFan 4d ago
The obligation was likely because for iron man she likely signed a huge mult picture contract because she didn't didn't think the film would start a franchise. She still made a load of money to play a supporting character without much screen time in most of the marvel films she appeared in. As far as acting goes, a well paying gig that lasts over a decade is like the holy grail for actors. And now, she has a guaranteed an easy payday if she ever wants to go to comic book convictions to appear on stage and then sign autographs.
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u/malraux78 4d ago
So the thing to understand is a big part of her marketing strategy is to say crazy stuff that gets front page clickbait headlines (like this) to get people go to her goop store.
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u/SquarePegRoundWorld 4d ago
Right, I might have to rethink my stance that Hollywood is the Mecca of sanity.
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u/Nemisis_the_2nd 4d ago
At this point I just assume actors in Holywood are crazy, and am pleasantly surprised when the odd one turns out not to be.
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u/FliesAreEdible 4d ago
I assume they're crazy and/or terrible people unless I learn otherwise.
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u/memecut 4d ago
Well, a lot of the guys in power there are total creeps.. so, not that surprising
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u/badoldways 4d ago
Gwyneth Paltrow and Alex Jones sell many of the exact same products to very different people.
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u/conflicted_luddite 4d ago
For every one of you there are a million more who love hearing about what she's shoved up her arse.
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u/TheDogsPaw 4d ago
I'm amazed that people dont all want to see stuff shoved up her ass
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u/cnicalsinistaminista 4d ago
I can't stand her. At all. Not her personality, the crap she puts out there, not her acting.
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u/JohnnysGirl12 4d ago
Same here. I've always found her to be incredibly pretentious and her acting is lazy at best imo.
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u/Valuable_District_59 4d ago
All i think of is that Vivek Kumar probably went to journalism school to write about THIS
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u/somedoofyouwontlike 4d ago
Lol. Imagine? You always dreamt of a big story with your name on it and you're covering what crazy thing Paltrow is putting up her ass now.
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u/PM_ME_UR_HIP_DIMPLES 4d ago
I'm going to find him on Twitter and @ him this sentiment
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u/johnboat007
4d ago
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The amount of things I've read about this women and health tips in realtion to one's ass. There where coffee enemas, a nude yoga pose that exposed your anus to the sun, and now Ozone enemas. Her health tips could litteraly be an ad on Los Santos Rock Radio.
Edit- holy shit this blew up. here is the context for my joke for those of you who have lifes and haven't memorized all the gtav radio ads.
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u/pengalor 4d ago
We truly haven't come far enough from fumigating vaginas to treat hysteria.
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u/Soothsayer71 4d ago
This is what happens when you reach the peak of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Transcendence just looks weird to the rest of us.
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u/wanderingmonster 4d ago
Maslow was wrong: the top level isn’t “transcendence”, it’s “weird butt stuff”.
I hope to reach that level myself, someday.
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u/yesbutactuallyno17 4d ago
Praise the sun.
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u/Myroplyrodon 4d ago
The dark star.
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u/Camelbeard 4d ago
Like a black hole?
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u/TinBryn 4d ago
that which is above is like that which is below, that which is below is like that which is above
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u/normansconquest 4d ago
Can confirm that weird butt stuff completes me more than enlightenment
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u/Witchy___Woman 4d ago
You're so right. I always just called it not living in survival mode. But that's a more accurate way of putting it.
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u/harrypottermcgee 4d ago
When I got some spending money I bought a new motorcycle seat, also for my ass. Maybe me and Gwyneth aren't so different after all.
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u/armagnacXO 4d ago
Nothing but time and money, in a place that is obsessed about beauty and youth… it’s gonna mess people up.
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u/2IndianRunnerDucks 4d ago
I didn’t know about fumigation to treat hysteria, but I do know the Victorian’s invented the vibrator so Doctors hands did not get so tired treating women suffering from hysteria. They were a funny lot - cant look at legs but the wife and daughters can go to the doctor for an orgasm.
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u/JimJohnes 4d ago
Also in Victorian times literally blowing tobacco smoke up someone's ass with special pipe or bellows was legitimate method of resuscitation of drowned and curing various ailments.
Also, Babylonians used to fumigate their private parts in sitting position after sex. According to Herodotus, that is.
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u/JimCrackCornDoesCare 4d ago
This kind of info always fascinates me. I mean blowing smoke up a drowned persons asshole would never work. Not once. Why would they continue to do it?
I’d like to meet the guy who tried it the first time. Was he just standing by the river smoking his pipe when a drowned man washed up? “Honey, hold my mead. I’m gonna go blow smoke up this fella’s arsehole real quick.”
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u/WynZora 4d ago
I mean, they weren’t always the best at determining how dead people were either. I’m guessing a few of the waterlogged were just unconscious and poking things up their butt was enough to startle them.
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u/Aqquila89 4d ago
That's a not true. It originates from Rachel Maines's book, The Technology of Orgasm, but that has been debunked.
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u/i1a2 4d ago
As of 2009, Alabama is the only state where a law prohibiting the sale of sex toys remains on the books, though Alabama residents are permitted to buy sex toys with a doctor's note.
TIL
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u/Affectionate-Taste55 4d ago
Don't forget when she was on an alkaline water kick, but she liked it with a squirt of lemon, lmao!
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u/Clerstory 4d ago
The coffee enema thing goes way back. When action star Steve McQueen was trying to use complimentary/alternative medicine to treat the cancer that eventually took him out, he was going to a clinic in Mexico and daily coffee enemas were part of the treatment plan. That, and being dosed with Laetrile, a medication derived from peach pits that’s never been USDA or AMA approved.
That whole “Western medicine bad” approach didn’t work out too well for Steve Jobs, either. And if you want to make yourself poop it would make more sense to drink the fucking coffee and get the antioxidants into the part of your digestive system where you could absorb them properly.
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u/super_common_name 4d ago
I don't remember the exact figures but that GOOP stuff has made her a flaming fortune. Far more than her acting paid.
She doesn't give a good god damn how useless and dangerous most of it is, it's made her wealthy beyond her wildest dreams. And no matter how much she gets sued, she still comes out ahead.
This is to say that she herself did not put ozone up her ass. She's just saying she did so that people will give her more money.
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u/MyPunsSuck 4d ago
Or, she actually buys into it too. You don't have to be a genius to end up rich... Remember, we're living in a world where you can end up president without being even minimally competent
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u/TolMera 4d ago
You can end up president while being massively incompetent or incontinent.
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u/oimerde 4d ago
I have a friend who’s 30 years younger than his “girlfriend” who’s freaking weird and works for Goop. It looks like in order to work for Paltrow main requirements are to be crazy your self.
I know all the details of the relationship cause my friend tells me all about it. He does not care cause his “girlfriend” basically has purchased him a car and now an apartment, but he has done some weird stuff for those things.
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u/herzy3 4d ago
Go on...
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u/Kittykats2 4d ago
Yes, dish the goop, please!
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u/stomach 4d ago
he helps her with things like, Foot-in-Uterus Realignment, Truffle-oil Nipple-Exfoliation, and Baby-Seal Booty-to-Booty Rubs. y'know, the usual
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u/Pepf 4d ago
Your friend is a prostitute with a single client. Not criticizing, just calling it what it is.
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u/oimerde 4d ago
I tell him that all the time, and he accepted it. I used to be Jealous cause she was always buying him expensive stuff and taking him on trips. He’s a musician and as you can imagine if you’re not famous is a hard life, so he got lucky I think. Now after so many years, I’m no longer jealous, especially after I hear about everything he has to do.
I know this guy for a big part of my life in a way I’m his best friend. He’s not mine, but I think he feels comfortable telling me everything she makes him do. I’m a good listener and I don’t judge and laugh out with him if he needs to.
When it comes to their weird sex lifestyle. First, it was fun, he was having 3 with her and other girls. Eventually, she started to involve dudes. He said he does not need to do it with them, but I think he’s not telling me true. There are also occasions when he has to dress in specific ways or try new things. There was a time his back was all Bruised cause she was trying the dominatrix fantasy. There are more weird intimacy stories, but I’ll need more time to talk about those.
About lifestyle Yes, to the enema thing, but she makes him get a coffee enema anytime he gets some extra pounds. I have not heard about the ozone one. Will ask him next week as I’m going to meet up with him.
Another weird thing is that she’s always trying a new diet or a new weird “beauty” tool and the worst is that she often tries it on him. There was a time when he has to “you know SPER” on a container cause she used to put it on her face as a mask.
He also has to drink his pee for 40 days. He hated that one the most. Several times he’s been ready to end the relationship, but she always comes up with some expensive present and he stays.
I can’t stand the lady. She acts like a teen anytime she’s in public with him. I often see her when he’s playing a show and several friends go check out his band. She will be jumping and acting all exaggerated. Also, we always have to go to the restaurant she wants and it’s often a pretentious restaurant that’s overpriced.
As you can see I truly hate her. At some point, my friend try to recruit me to be part of a night with them, but I said FUC3 NOOOO!!!
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u/alamaias 4d ago
Hell man, I would do that in a heartbeat.
Dependingnon the weird stuff I wpuld probably do it for fun :P
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u/series_hybrid 4d ago
I think either she or her advisors smoke some weed and think of "scientific-adjacent" facts and repurpose them. Ozone can easily be generated by an inexpensive machine, and ozone can be bubbled through water to sterilize it.
Lately there has been a lot of chatter about "eating ass", and women are getting their anus waxed and bleached to "make it pretty". But how to sterilize it?
Here's the thing, if this does kill bacteria in your colon, that bacteria performs an important function. I'm not saying ozone kills bacteria in your colon, but if her machine actually produces ozone, I'm sure some germs may die.
I'm saying that it's bad if it doesn't work, and...it's bad if it does work. Ozone is unstable and reactive, so I don't know what that would do to healthy colon cells...
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u/Ahelex 4d ago
My wildly unsubstantiated theory on why it seems like all those woo stuff focus on the ass is because... pooping (and I guess liquids entering and flowing out of your ass?) gives a wave of satisfaction. Which means by focusing on the ass, people initially buying into it would be more likely to come back, because it feels good.
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u/platasnatch 4d ago
Why don't I just waste my last avocado too while I'm at it?
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u/randompersonx 4d ago
While I’m sure you are right about that being part of it, the truth is they the colon is very good at absorbing certain things into the blood. It has to be because it’s the last chance the body has to absorb nutrients and water.
If, for example, you gave yourself an enema with vodka, you would almost certainly get way more drunk, way faster than if you drank the same amount of alcohol. Note: don’t do this because you might die:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_enema
So, by doing various weird types of enemas, it allows for either rapidly absorbing things that normally your body can’t absorb, or alternatively, cleaning things out or your body that you don’t want to absorb.
With that said, probably ozone in your ass probably wouldn’t do either of those things, but probably they believe it has some detoxing effect because ozone is capable of killing most things. At best, this would function sort of like an antibiotic for your intestines, but I’m not sure that’s generally a good thing.
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u/Critical-Step-4965 4d ago
I think ozone is toxic as well, I wouldn't want my ass soaking up ozone...
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u/DINKY_DICK_DAVE 4d ago
At the very least it'll probably nuke the good bacteria you have up there and give you the squirts
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u/Raelah 4d ago
I hate pooping. It's such a hassle. It only provides relief. But if I could opt out of pooping, I'd do it in a heart beat. And one of my least favorite things is anything to do with my butthole.
People only do this shit is because of pseudoscience, misinformation and/or influence from celebrities.
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u/Phyank0rd 4d ago
On the contrary. One of my favorite random things that I enjoy in my life is being able to sit down and pass that one big log, like the one that has you take a cleansing breath after it drops.
Nothing weird about it or anything, just the satisfaction of relief when it's finally out.
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u/Grove-Of-Hares 4d ago
Then you wipe, and it’s absolutely spotless. Bliss.
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u/weakplay 4d ago
Don’t forget the poop that magically disappears into the bowl - Ghost Poop
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u/PauleAgave95 4d ago edited 4d ago
At this point, real life is more satire and controversy than any gta game.
I was playing trough the single player gta5 recently and there was the add for a Parfume „smell like a bitch“
And to be honest, 10 years ago this was satire, now it could be an actual add.
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u/Soothsayer71 4d ago
All the weird stuff she does to stay healthy, but she sure doesn't look healthy these days. Seen a clip of here on a podcast or interview recently and she looked malnourished.
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u/tiddles451 4d ago
Well, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozone it doesnt sound like a particularly healthy thing to be sticking up your butt.
Ozone is a powerful oxidant (far more so than dioxygen) and has many industrial and consumer applications related to oxidation. This same high oxidizing potential, however, causes ozone to damage mucous and respiratory tissues in animals, and also tissues in plants, above concentrations of about 0.1 ppm. While this makes ozone a potent respiratory hazard and pollutant near ground level, a higher concentration in the ozone layer (from two to eight ppm) is beneficial, preventing damaging UV light from reaching the Earth's surface.
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u/Far_Asparagus1654 4d ago
Ex biologist here. Oxygen is tragically dangerous for biological tissue, especially in free radical form, which you are even more likely to get with ozone than regular diatomic oxygen.
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u/Fetlocks_Glistening 4d ago
What if you're worried about too much UV in your colon from the Gloop crystal scented UV butt-wand you stuck up there earlier?
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u/Disastrous_Square_10 4d ago
Yeah can’t we just admit she likes butt stuff and get over it?
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u/Floor_Heavy 4d ago
Why just go "I like butt stuff", when you can get paid for liking butt stuff?
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u/Neoxite23 4d ago
Ok so how does one go about shoving the ozone into your ass? I morbidly curious on this.
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u/diuturnal 4d ago
Having o3 blown up her ass? If it works like it does with my car, her ass probably smells like burnt air for 15 minutes, then like nothing.
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u/Wraithkingslayer 4d ago
She would sell out of all product if she produced burning ass ozone candles.
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u/ExplorerElectrical21 4d ago
If his ass is burnt in a candle flame, it will smell through the air. It will smell unpleasant.
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u/MeGotShadowbanned 4d ago
In simple terms, ozone reacts with smelly things to make them less smelly.
It is also not something you want to be around in high concentrations, because it can react with you and make you more cancer-y.
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u/Antisymmetriser 4d ago
More accurately, ozone reacts with organic compounds to eventually burn them into CO2. Since our bodies our mostly organic compounds, you will be left with chemical burns way before you feel the cancer. This is also how it causes cancer - it damages DNA, resulting in mutations that can result in tumors.
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u/hilburn 4d ago
I work with a company that has an ozone lab - the written safety instructions that you have to sign off on before going into it include: "if someone collapses to the floor, do not help them, leave the building immediately" - it's terrifying stuff
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u/MimonFishbaum 4d ago
I work with 03 lighting cells used for wastewater effluent disinfection. I refuse to actually read about how she's using ozone, so I'm just gonna imagine it's like an 03 bulb dildo lol.
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u/drstu3000 4d ago
When you're $200M Rich you can make it happen
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u/jellyfish-blues- 4d ago
Enough money to also pay the people to lie and say that it's going to be good for you too..
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u/priceQQ 4d ago
Well it does make reactive oxygen species, which are damaging to your tissues … so imagine using dilute hydrogen peroxide …
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u/Neoxite23 4d ago
so imagine using dilute hydrogen peroxide …
No I don't think I will!
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u/Ahelex 4d ago
The extra O is the shape your mouth makes when you realize you're burning the shit out of your tissue down there.
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u/Moodymandan 4d ago
I’m a radiology and we preform enemas with both air and contrast, but I imagine it’s the same. Just a catheter in the butt and making sure it’s taped in tight to not let anything just shoot out all over you. For air enemas it’s really important to tape well or else you can’t distend the colon or bowel. We mainly use air for kids with intussusception, basically their bowels have rolled into itself, or rarely to use both contrast and air to look at the mucosa of the colon. The latter is very rare because you can just get a colonoscopy, which is much better than a double contrast enema. I digress, you could easily do this with ozone I suppose. I have no idea what the concentration of ozone you’d use, but honestly I bet there is negligible ozone in the air enema this lady gets.
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u/iamursula 4d ago
At least we now know where all the ozone that’s missing above Antarctica has gone. Its all in this odd woman’s ass!
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u/gorilla_dick_ 4d ago
Ozone is a chemical that alot of heaters and ionizers put off. It’s awful for humans but does work to take smells out of the air. There’s that industrial air freshener that’s ozone all the smokers use - can’t recall the name
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u/Hannarr1 4d ago
Seems like a great way to get colon cancer.
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u/Admetus 4d ago
There's a reason you should not inhale too much ozone over your lifetime.
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u/shmorky 4d ago
What's the reason?
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u/TyrellCo 4d ago
“Ozone is known to cause radicals to be formed in biological systems” “The damage to cells caused by free radicals, especially the damage to DNA, may play a role in the development of cancer and other health conditions”
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u/vindictivemonarch 4d ago edited 3d ago
i had an old friend. she told me she was getting ozone enemas to get rid of free radicals. she said the coffee ones weren't as good. this was probably 8-10 years ago.
i told her that was a bad idea, that ozone creates free radicals, and that she should stop for her health. i provided a lot of evidence.
she bitched me out, posted our convo on facebook, and blocked me.
i'm a physicist. she has a degree in marketing. these types of people are literally fucking crazy.
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u/WallabyBubbly 4d ago
Gwyneth also said, “I like to start my day with a glass of alkaline water with a spritz of lemon juice in it.” She did not understand that the acidic lemon juice cancels out the alkaline water
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u/Western-Armadillo-19 4d ago
She is only an actress,not a chemist.
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u/psychicesp 4d ago
Neither are most of the people who know that's bullshit. Neutralizing a base with an acid isn't exactly advanced-degree-level chemistry
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u/Supersleeper70 4d ago edited 4d ago
A hole in the ozone - disturbing, ozone in a hole - even more disturbing.
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u/mc-edit 4d ago
Maybe she’s just into inserting stuff (jade eggs, ozone, etc.) into her body. No harm in that. But no no, she had to go and make that her identity. Never mind she won an Oscar—she puts things in her butt now.
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u/Eerawai 4d ago
I read that as putting an Oscar in her butt. Which … now I think of it … probably.
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u/mc-edit 4d ago
Someone has definitely tried it.
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u/chronoboy1985 4d ago
Somebody posted on r/showerthoughts something to the effect of “someone has definitely inserted an Oscar into their vagina at some point”.
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u/Ahelex 4d ago
I mean, the statue does have a flared base with a smooth head, so I guess it fulfills the basic criteria of a good and safe butt plug?
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u/mc-edit 4d ago
Gwyneth talks to her butt in Tony Montana voice: “Say hello to my lil’ friend.”
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u/pengalor 4d ago
No harm in that.
Unfortunately, there is harm that can come from it, which is precisely why she needs to shut up and keep to herself.
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u/octopoddle 4d ago edited 4d ago
An interesting website that shows cases of injury or death due to belief in pseudoscience.
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u/mc-edit 4d ago
Yes, you are right.
Gwyneth, if you are reading this, please don’t put dangerous things in your ass or pussy. Only non-dangerous things belong in these places. For instance, a cactus is dangerous. And your Oscar is not dangerous. If you need further help, I’ll be here to help. Good luck and Godspeed you weird, weird lady.
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u/graebot 4d ago
I'm not sure ozone is a good idea to put in ones rectum. Pretty sure it oxidises tissue, could lead to cancer, etc. Generally, you want to fight oxidizers in the body (antioxidants) not add them. You can't just go "ozone is good for the planet, therefore it's good for my butthole"
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u/christopia86 4d ago
You can't just go "ozone is good for the planet, therefore it's good for my butthole"
That's the kind of line you hear somebody say into their phone as they walk past and it lives rent free in your head fir the rest of your life.
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u/Daedeluss 4d ago
I don't care what she puts up her butt, just don't claim it has any health benefits.
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u/snowysnowy 4d ago
Please have a South park episode with her and Butters and that what what in the butt bit again
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u/flyrubberband 4d ago
So now we know what that hole in the ozone layer was all about
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u/twan_john 4d ago
Apparently, ozone "strengthens the immune system and the response to external aggressions." Interestingly, one external aggression that comes to mind and is 100% preventable is sticking ozone up your ass.
Source: https://ivyinfusions.com/vaginal-and-rectal-ozone-treatment/
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u/Flashy_Individual_40
4d ago
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what in the reeses peanut butter fuck happened to this lady? she's like a non-political myPillow guy
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u/dirty_hooker 4d ago
Completely distanced from anyone who’ll tell her she’s being dumb and unlimited access to snake oil salesmen. There’s a human need to be smarter than someone else; to have insider knowledge. She’s fallen for the idea that ancient people had non invasive natural cures for everything rather than the reality that they had extremely low average lifespans due to extremely high mortality rates; often even caused by ridiculous and dangerous medical procedures.
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u/jdippey 4d ago
While lifespans were indeed lower in the past, they were not as ridiculously low as is often thought. People pretty frequently lived into their 60s despite the lack of modern medicine (though modern medicine definitely helps extend that a smidge).
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u/dirty_hooker 4d ago
That’s if they made it to adulthood. The numbers are skewed due to infant and child mortality.
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u/TXGemi 4d ago
How does she get it in there when her head i so far up her own ass already?
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u/goatAlmighty 4d ago
The perfect example of a Hollywood icon completely out of touch with reality. The sad/disgusting thing is that she profits massively from the gullible people who buy her snake oil.
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u/TwoTrick_Pony 4d ago
I'm horrified and disgusted. Does the article happen to mention where she buys the ozone and what's the best way of inserting it?
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u/CartographerVisual24 4d ago
Asking for a friend?
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u/According-Ask29 4d ago
What are the benefits? just out of curiosity
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u/SushiGrayedd 4d ago
My guess, ozone removes odor. So she is literally trying to make her shit not stink.
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u/EsUnTiro 4d ago
What a good way to shout to the world “HEY I TAKE BIG STINKY SHITS!” Kinda like keeping one of those poo-pourri spray bottles in your bathroom.
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u/PaulPaul4 4d ago
She has always done weird crap to stay relevant and bring in the money
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u/Cheaptat 4d ago
…and take advantage of vulnerable people to make herself a little more anal-ozone money.
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u/JustKeepSwimming0913
4d ago
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Someone is literally getting paid reeeeaaaal well to blow smoke up her ass 🤣
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u/AlbussyDumbledore 4d ago
Recently, everything I learn about celebrities I learn completely against my will.
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u/BlettaFappaChu 4d ago
Celebrities always get to put the most exotic things up there ass and all I have is this damn Freddy Krueger figure 😔
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