r/melbourne Mar 04 '23

Australia Post selling coffee in Melbourne The Sky is Falling

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314 Upvotes

264

u/BeeerGutt Mar 04 '23

They'll give you a tracking number and you can use the app to watch your coffee go to the 4 sorting facilities that make the least sense as it makes it's way to your neighbour.

35

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '23

Nah, they'll lose it, and you'll have to come back next week for another one.

11

u/BeeerGutt Mar 04 '23

Was probably a bit optimistic hey.

9

u/dbun1 Mar 04 '23

They’ll give you a card that said they tried to make your coffee, but you weren’t there to sign for it.

3

u/ConsiderationEmpty10 Mar 04 '23

Bravo!!! Fucking brilliant

7

u/not_right Mar 04 '23

You have to stand in line for twenty minutes and when you get to the front and ask for the coffee they disappear into the back for five more minutes to find your coffee.

10

u/blahblahbush Mar 04 '23

I once shipped a parcel to a friend in Tennessee, USA. It went from Melbourne to Sydney, then New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, and finally Knoxville TN. WTF?

Nobody's mail routing system makes sense.

9

u/BeeerGutt Mar 04 '23

Yeah, have seen a couple of parcels go from Melbourne, to Melbourne via Sydney. I don't get it.

9

u/SpecialBeing9382 Mar 04 '23

Auspost redirect freight occasionally through Sydney when they are upgrading/moving facilities here in Melb. The one in Sunshine I think was most recently. And sometimes this will also happen in times of extreme volumes, like before Christmas when there was all that bad weather and a train derailment which fucked up the deliveries along the east coast. Doesn’t really make sense but when people are jumping up and down for their deliveries it makes sense to move them there than leave them in a ULD for 10 days somewhere lol.

I just want to add I don’t work for Post, I just poke 500 shipments into their various systems a week, so you learn a lot about how it works 😂

3

u/HaroerHaktak Mar 04 '23

"Oh sweet. It's in my town."

"Wait, why is it 3 towns over?"

"Why is it other side of melbourne?"

"Okay it's coming back."

"Wtf."

3

u/ConsiderationEmpty10 Mar 04 '23

That is possibly the funniest comment I’ve seen on reddit this year. Take my upvote

2

u/ethereumminor Mar 04 '23

this is too real, my package got delivered and picked up by a random address in another state.. chasing it up now zero chance ill ever get it

118

u/zumx DAE weather Mar 04 '23

There are 2 types of post offices,

Official post offices called Post Shops. These are generally larger format shops that are run directly by Australia Post and will only have postage related products and a selection of merchandise.

The second are Licensed Post Offices or LPOs. These are run almost like franchises and whilst they have postal services, the owner will add other businesses on top such as a newsagency, tattslotto or even pharmacy etc.

39

u/Cyclist_123 Geelong Mar 04 '23

I always assumed LPO stops for local post office. Looks like I learned something new

26

u/caleblebleb Mar 04 '23

Yeah in small country towns the LPO often has everything, back home in Tassie the Campania LPO has a service station, takeaway and a general store!

14

u/belbaba Mar 04 '23

The Macedon Trading Post is the most remarkable LPO I have personally come across. A nice eatery and general goods store. Best scones I’ve ever tried!

5

u/Thenewdazzledentway Mar 04 '23

Yeah there’s one in Dandy North on Heatherton rd that’s got a nice little cafe in there.

7

u/mkymooooo Mar 04 '23

Moved from Redfern in Sydney to Richmond in Melbourne in Oct 2019. Best decision ever.

In Sydney I'd never come across an LPO (I'm sure they exist, I just never saw one!). But here they seem to be all around.

Any background on why that might be?

5

u/puntthedog Mar 04 '23

Something like 3/4 of postal outlets are licensed, it's not always obvious what type they are unless you know what to look for.

The corporate post shops tend to be in areas where costs are too high for a franchise to operate. You tend to find them in shopping centres for example.

1

u/mkymooooo Mar 05 '23

I make assumptions on which ones are corporate based on their product range.

2

u/puntthedog Mar 06 '23

most of the corporate ones will be labelled as 'post shop' rather than 'post office'.

3

u/ArpeeL Mar 04 '23

The one nearest to me is an official post shop, not an LPO, and they're still full of random kitchen appliances and danoz direct stuff.

33

u/snowblocker Mar 04 '23

The post office on Burwood Rd near Auburn shops if I’m not mistaken? Tbh have always wondered what the coffee is like

23

u/Rod1mus_Pr1me Mar 04 '23

Keeping in mind the BO of the guy who works there, probably not good.

8

u/beccleslfc Mar 04 '23

Personality to match too

4

u/Takre Mar 04 '23

Hahaha everyone I've ever known to go there hates this guy.

Can't imagine the coffee is really helping things at all...

5

u/lozenge22 Mar 05 '23

I will avoid this man at all costs and go to POs further away. He is so incredibly rude, smells horrific, and won't communicate any words to you - just grunts. I think he started selling cheap coffee to lure people in.

1

u/mkymooooo Mar 04 '23

Mmmmm....aroma

21

u/Every-Space8657 Mar 04 '23

Once the coffee is ready they won't bother calling out your name and they'll just say you weren't there to collect

8

u/retry94 Mar 04 '23

Once the coffee is ready you’ll also get an SMS with a link from a scam number about your coffee being ready. Don’t click it.

1

u/not_right Mar 04 '23

You'll get a text saying your coffee will be ready today and you'll go there and there's no coffee. The next day you'll get another text saying your coffee will be ready today...

41

u/blahblahbush Mar 04 '23

You order your coffee, then they give you a card that says "Sorry we missed you".

18

u/hillbillypolenta Mr Howlett's blacksmith Mar 04 '23

You order your coffee, it goes via Chullora first before coming to you.

1

u/mkymooooo Mar 04 '23

Kampuchea, actually.

2

u/WAPWAN Mar 04 '23

Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

10

u/snave_ Mar 04 '23

They'll do anything aside from actually delivering shit.

22

u/hello-there-again Mar 04 '23

Australia Roast!

2

u/askvictor Mar 05 '23

They do International Roast too, but it's more expensive (but you don't have to pay GST on it)

7

u/PKMTrain Mar 04 '23

Shame it isn't a pub. You could post and a pint

5

u/hillbillypolenta Mr Howlett's blacksmith Mar 04 '23

The one on Middleborough road is also a bottle shop!

6

u/largeshits >Insert Text Here< Mar 04 '23

Every time I go to the PO I have to line up for at least half an hour to get to the counter (I'm looking at you Epping Pacific). I doubt their coffees are worth the wait.

6

u/Elleeebeauty Mar 04 '23

My local one just sells a bunch of knockoff toys . Some highlights include Happy Partner Paradise , Happy Partner , Kiss Family , Violent Car and Dog - Multiple Equipment

4

u/snave_ Mar 04 '23

Brand new AS SEEN ON TV signs still exist in Australia Post outlets complete with an image of a CRT TV.

3

u/Nowidontgetit Mar 04 '23

May arrive overnight or next week

3

u/zaro3785 Mar 04 '23

I'm in love with my local LPO. I'd never get my packages otherwise - they're open Saturday mornings whereas the other one is barely open

0

u/TheTeenSimmer train enjoyer Mar 04 '23

i dispise my LPO, fuckers are a whole ass 2km away

1

u/clownyfish Mar 04 '23

Funny, my LPO sucks. Any packages coming through my LPO never ever get as attempted delivery. No card, nothing. I just have to watch the tracking to know when they're holding it for pickup.

1

u/zaro3785 Mar 05 '23

That sounds like a driver problem rather than a post office problem

2

u/DarkOld9365 Mar 04 '23

The trouble is you have to wait two days for it to be delivered.🤣

1

u/loralailoralai Mar 04 '23

Delivered? What kind of paradise suburb do you live in? Actually, better not say, they’ll be onto it and stop it pronto lol

2

u/atnator42 Mar 04 '23

I have a feeling you aint getting a proper barista making the coffee

2

u/deadlyruckas Mar 04 '23

Yeah I heard it can get "delayed in transit"

2

u/fuzzygroodle Mar 04 '23

I don’t trust them with a parcel, let alone making a good cup of coffee!

2

u/bestvanillayoghurt Mar 04 '23

Not any weirder than the counterfeit Pokemon cards and Chinese lego knockoffs they've been selling for years.

1

u/knobhead69er Mar 04 '23

What band would baristas be on in the public service? Probably an alright gig. Just man the auto coffee machine and wish the punters a nice day.

1

u/beigetrope Mar 04 '23

Bout time!

1

u/Murky-Contribution36 Mar 04 '23

If you drink all of the coffee at 11:11 you get three magic postal stamps

1

u/CountAbacus Mar 04 '23

Shit price for shit coffee - to match their shit delivery service!

1

u/TheTeenSimmer train enjoyer Mar 04 '23

that’s along the 109 right? i may be wrong but looks familiar

1

u/blingbloop Mar 04 '23

I walked into a post office the other day. Hadn’t been in for ages. I saw a whipper snipper for sale. Lol.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '23

I bet after a week they'll turn off the self-serve coffee machines and make you line up like everyone else.

1

u/Eskerz Mar 04 '23

I know people love to roast the postal service, but ever since moving here my local post office have been great, with very friendly customer service. my deliveries usually pretty speedy compared to Canada and NZ. The parcel locker service is just the best (I just get most my stuff sent there because it's right beside my local supermarket) all in all I find Auspost to be better than average/10

1

u/DXPetti Mar 05 '23

The biggest problem with AusPost is the complete randomness of service you get with the contract based deliveries (i.e non-letters). The PO/LPO and AusPost employees deliveries (letters) run pretty darn well

1

u/smartazz104 Mar 05 '23

I guess they expect you’ll be in line for so long, why not enjoy a coffee while you wait.

1

u/binaryhextechdude Mar 05 '23

About time they started selling something useful

1

u/alfiejs Mar 05 '23

Can’t sell stamps, have to sell coffee

1

u/Electrical_Ad_2934 Your local South-East teenager Mar 05 '23

Does the coffee arrive on time?